All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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