yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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