I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
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Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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