The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
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apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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