She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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