I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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