i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize