he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize