There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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