The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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