what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize