I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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