I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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