The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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