I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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