I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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