Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize