his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize