I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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