He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
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he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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