He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize