can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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