i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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