normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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