An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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