it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
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You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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