Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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