The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize