we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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