ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
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He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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