She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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