I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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