You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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