The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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