Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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