i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize