How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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