3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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