its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
its liver damage thursday
Randomize