You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize