she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize