I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
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Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
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Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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