I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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