we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
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Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
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She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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