there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize