This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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