Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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