the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize