I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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