I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
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Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
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