dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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